Sigh

I love the perks that I am getting as a "successful" woman. I have the society's respect, I have my family's pride, I have some luxuries that I can afford... But in all these lovely things, I cannot alienate some things which are beyond my control. Things or perceptions that are really going on the different slope as against what I really want in life.

Just this morning, I received a text from my dad presenting to me the option of what if I work abroad? He told me that I am in the best position to go out for a high paying job because I still don't have a family. I should think that may be my kakayahan is passing me by. And I have to remember that "kalingawan" or some enjoyments are enemies in disguise....

I mightily appreciate my dad's concern for my future and my career since birth. He has been my greatest adviser and my guardian ever since the word "decision" was linked in my book of vocabulary. His words are very powerful to me that when things are dubious and I am too tired to think about decisions, I sometimes blindly follow the insights he is giving me. I trust his choices more than mine.

But there are times that I felt he has occupied my sense of decision-making enormously. These are the times that I felt I am running out of breath because I sensed the need to follow what he thinks is the best even though my mind and my heart tells otherwise. I do so because I fear that if I won't follow him, I would end up walking the wrong path. This makes me unhappy. This puts me in an awkward situation.

Sigh... who's on the same boat with me?