A Writer's Dilemma

I vividly remember three lines from my first ever poem created when I was in Grade 2:

Birds created their nest
With all their best
So that their babies can rest

I always love writing. People got amazed on my little compositions that tackle things in my own accounts, my own experiences. But, ironically, I was not a part of any writing guild may it be Ripplets(?) in LCC, or Spectrum in La Salle, or even Oracle in RAF. Neither did I contribute a single piece that was a product of my travelling mind.

One uncomfortable feeling for me as a "writer" is hearing remarks from people admiring those words i playfully arranged and later on ask me if I can come up with this and that for them. There's that kudos which also equates to pressure everytime my ears receive these words. Pressure that what I may create for other people will not meet their expecations. I've tried it countless times, and yes,during these times, my creative mind is going gaga over "hide-and-seek". She hides; I cannot ever seek her place of solitude.

You see, I write from the heart. I can't when I'm told to do so. I can boast as a poet if I know that those words in rhyme are based on events or things that I was involved in - call it a first person experience. My hands seem to have their own minds when I desperately want something to be put to writing. Ideas just got through my system and before I knew it, I already done so many clicks with the "enter" tab. Arguably, the end product is just so entertaining. On the other side of the coin, I cannot even just jot down a couple of words when people expect something from me. Horizontal lines nailed through those uncooperative words are just so abundant!

I call this - the writer's dilemma, or better yet - Dahlgren's dilemma. I always thought of this as a misconception just as how people regard all names with comma CPA. People regard the writers as having a 24/7 ties with creative mind and a watchful heart. Similarly, people perceive all the CPAs as working the traditional way - still with columnar pads and literally balancing the world renowned debit and credit, where everything that concerns the terms in the accounting books are ALL being practiced in the real world. Asking a five-year-ago-wearing-toga lady about those freaking financial ratios is just for me, ridiculous. Okay, I'm going beyond my primary topic. Hehe.

To set the record straight, I don't like writing in a business tone. That, for me , is so damn boring. I like free journalism, where I can describe a thing or a word in an artistic way. I don't like straighforward sentences. Again - it's just so boring! I cannot produce a well-thought piece if I am in time constraint. In a simplest term, I don't write if I don't like.

Writing is just my outlet, not a way to have an inflow in my pocket. Cool line, I may say!

Kargs is downstairs craving for a Wendy's big meal. Let's call it a night, laptop on rest. =)